The Case of the Missing Video

The below abstract for my latest novel is purely fiction and any reference to characters or incidents that may have actually occurred are purely coincidental.
In the latest episode of my on going detective series starring the Man Who Stopped THE GRAVY TRAIN (editors note: we are trying to get Jack Nicholson to play The GRAVY TRAIN in the movie version), we find our hero confronted by a turncoat in his midst. It turns out that one of his inner circle, let's call him Somalibeckistany Drug Dealer # 1, has videoed our hero smoking crack cocaine, which, of course, he only uses to replenish his battery so that he can fight his never ending battle for truth, justice, and of course, against THE GRAVY TRAIN. In a misguided decision to get rich quick, Somalibeckistany Drug Dealer #1 shows the video tape to two different yellow journalist rags, The Gotham City Gazette(c) and The Daily Planet(c), but tells both of them that they cannot have a copy of the video without paying M$200,000 Monopoly Dollars.
When The Daily Planet(c) ignores the normal newspaper philosophy of needing two sources before going to print, and puts out the story, The Gotham City Gazette's(c) legal team decides that The Daily Planet(c) is their second source and therefore, can also go to press.
Our hero is flabbergasted that his enemies would go to such depths to derail his never ending battle for truth, justice, and of course, against THE GRAVY TRAIN and issues a statement to the world that the charge is 'ridiculous'.
Now, here's where the story gets devious, and, the video disappears. Since there were only 3 people in the room when our hero went for his crack cocaine re-charge, he knew that the traitor was either Somalibeckistany Drug Dealer #1 or Somalibeckistany Drug Dealer #2. He spent a week finding out which one was the traitor to the cause of fighting the never ending battle for truth, justice, and of course, against THE GRAVY TRAIN, and informed the traitor that if he didn't destroy the video, things would get ugly. Rumour has it that our hero threatened to sit on the traitor, or worse, tie him to a chair and force him to listen while our hero espoused his prejudicial views about everyone who wasn't him.
Everything turned out well when the traitor destroyed the video and our hero held a press conference denying that he used crack cocaine and confidently saying to the yellow journalist to produce the video (ha, ha, that won't happen) or shut up.
All's well that ends well.

What? Myles Isn't Allowed at the Wedding?

Another big family event is happening soon. Our older son is getting married. However, I was shocked to learn that Myles, the younger brother, and a frequent subject of my friend Leslie's blog, for instance, visit Myles Again , is not invited to the wedding. Yikes, and here he is trying on his tuxedo.

Is this fair? Shouldn't the younger brother be a participant at the wedding? Well, according to the Ontario Ministry of Health, Myles falls under the category of "live bird or animal"??? How can that be so?
Maybe Minister Mathews needs to see Myles in his tuxedo, from the side.

Still not convinced he should be allowed at the wedding. O.K., what if Myles looks at the camera this time?

What a face, what a body, what a wiener dog!!! Yikes, did I say dog, oops. Maybe we should hold the wedding in France, where dogs are invited to any restaurants they care to frequent.

Is it too late to change the venue?

Getting It Right: Ontario's Decision to Swap Mammography Devices

Based on the release of the peer-reviewed study by Cancer Care Ontario senior scientist Dr. Anna Chiarelli, published today in journal Radiology, Ontario has committed to investing $25 million to replace all existing, less effective computer radiography (CR) mammography devices with the study indicated much more effective direct radiography (DR) mammography devices.

To read the entire Statement released by the Ministry of Health and Long-Term Care, go to the following url: http://news.ontario.ca/mohltc/en/2013/05/minister-matthews-statement-on-mammography-in-ontario.html

As we are all continuously inundated with stupid government decisions, it's nice to know that sometimes our leaders get it right. Well done.
I am Elliot Schiller and I approve of this expenditure!

Richie Havens, Thank You for the Music

In the summer of 1969, when I was living in Pittsburgh, my brother called me from New York and said that there was this Music Festival in Woodstock and would we like to come join him. Regretfully, we had just made plans to spend the week before Woodstock in Lake George with 2 other couples and couldn't see either extending it or getting away again. Yikes, what I missed. Although, to be quite honest, Lake George was great and Woodstock looked like alot of rain.
The band my brother raved about was Santana, a group I'd never heard of before then, but, I can't remember if my brother told me about Richie Havens, or if I already knew of his work.
I can't think of any better tribute to Mr. Havens than to play his music.
So, here are some of my favourites:

Little Darlin', it's been alright:



At a time when we just couldn't understand why our friends and neighbours were dieing in Vietnam, Richie Havens put our sorrows into song:



And, in those days, who would have believed that Richie Havens could interpret Dylan as well as Dylan could:



According to Richie Havens, he was originally scheduled to be the fifth band up at Woodstock, but with the traffic and all, his band was the first one ready to go on, and so, they opened Woodstock. Further, they were so well received that they kept on playing, kept on playing and kept on playing until Richie Havens said, he played every song that he knew. Here is another one that I loved, and, in my opinion, a better interpretation of the Beatle original, than the Beatle original. Strawberry Fields Forever:



Thanks for the Music Richie Havens.

Saving the Republican Party: Let Those People Go!

I just read today that Mike Huckabee is threatening that if the Republican Party decides to support Gay Marriage that the Evangelists will leave the Party and form a third party.

http://thenewcivilrightsmovement.com/mike-huckabee-threatens-gop-support-marriage-equality-and-evangelicals-will-form-third-party/politics/2013/03/26/63444

Excellent. Now I don't have to write an entire blog on why the Republicans need to find a way to control the crazies, just like Stephen Harper has done so well in Canada.

My advice, paraphrased from Moses, "Let those people go!"

Seven Days in Florida

(sung to the tune of "Six Days on the Road")

We pulled out of Buffalo
 and went flying down the eastern sea board
We were excited to see the Nanny

 and the rest of the Schiller hoard

We had our luggage fully packed

With carry on in a sack

Ten hours start to finish, now I feel that sun on my back.

We had a beautiful house

With the intercoastal and a pool way out back

We ate all ‘cept the kitchen sink

And the Nanny drank a 32 oz. drink

Seven days in sunny Florida and the forecast said home will be snowing, they think.

Dina, Arnie, Petey, Lisa, Joe and Holly

We made merry and were all very jolly

Everyone is doing fine

Lisa’s new house is just divine

And, they still over feed you at the Melting Pot at dinner time.

Now that we’ve got Dina

joining into the family

Food is just great with lasagne and

Chicken Piacenti

And the love that those two have

It makes us smile and feel so glad

They just bought a brand new home

And I think it’s gonna be a love pad

Now we’re home back up North

and the weather is still way too cold

There’s no more pool and sun

And no alligators or lizards for fun

Seven days in sunny Florida and now I weigh a ton

The Boys Are Coming, The Boys Are Coming

Sung to the tune of "I just Can't Wait to be King" (from the Lion King)

It’s gonna be a mighty time, so happy it’s today

The boys are coming into town, that’s all I have to say

The toys are ready throughout the house

So neatly in a row

They’re waiting for the boys to come

And, then, to start the show

Oh, I just can’t wait for the boys

They ‘ll say let’s do this

Then let’s do that

Then how bout the train

And the railroad track

Oh, I just can't wait for the boys