Friday, June 7, 2013

Breaking News: Exclusive Inside Look at Homeland Security Verizon Information Analysis Team Hard At Work

Trust it to my crack team of investigative snoopers to bring you, my readers, the first look at the agents of the Homeland Security Group who are busy checking up on us. Regretfully, or should I say embarrassingly most of the information they found concerned Big Brother checking into my life.
Nevertheless, here it is for your reading and viewing pleasure:

The Actual Offices of the Homeland Security Verizon Monitoring Group

As you can see, not the best of accommodations 

That is perhaps why they are getting this reaction when they ask government employees to transfer to this division.

 Now, here are the first ever exclusive photos of the Verizon Analysis Group hard at work:

Here they are reviewing my phone calls
And reading my emails

On the bright side, here is someone checking out my itunes library

And, here's an agent reviewing my bank account after two weddings in 19 months
I feel the same way

Will this invasion of my privacy never end, here's an agent reading my ebooks
Definitely he chose the right environment to read my ebooks, that's where I read them.

Now, here they are looking at my surfing history and noticing that I move from Federal scandals to Provincial scandals to Local political scandals

And they even had a camera at my Tuesday night dance class and watched me repeating intermediate dance for the 7th year in a row

But, the most upsetting part of my findings were the photos of the agent who, after beginning to read my blog, threatened to end it all if he didn't get a transfer.
 Is it my fault that I'm not funnier?


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  2. Actually, I think this may be one of your funnier posts! Especially the part about the Tuesday night dance class. I personally released the videos to them for that one. Hilarious! Then again, we all know what a weird sense of humour I have. Very cute El!

  3. Thanks. I think I may have peaked with this one. (It's all down hill from here)